Unpacking the Stigma Around Using Sex Toys

Sex toys are a topic that continues to be surrounded by stigma and shame. While some people may feel comfortable discussing sex toys with friends or partners, others may feel embarrassed or judged for using them. As a sex educator, it's important to address this stigma head-on and help people understand that there is nothing wrong with incorporating sex toys into their self-care routine.

The History of Stigma Around Sex Toys

Sex toys have been around for centuries, but they haven't always been widely accepted or discussed. In fact, sex toys were often considered taboo and even illegal in some parts of the world. The infamous Comstock laws in the United States made it illegal to distribute "obscene" materials, which included anything related to sexuality or contraception.

Even as laws began to change and attitudes towards sexuality shifted in the 20th century, sex toys remained a controversial topic. Many people still viewed sex toys as something only "perverted" or "deviant" individuals would use.

The Benefits of Using Sex Toys

Despite the continued stigma surrounding sex toys, there are many benefits to incorporating them into your self-care routine. For one, sex toys can enhance sexual pleasure and help individuals explore their own bodies and desires. They can also be a useful tool for couples who want to spice up their sex life or try new things.

Additionally, sex toys can be particularly helpful for individuals who struggle with certain physical or mental health conditions. For example, someone with chronic pain may find that a vibrator helps alleviate some of their discomfort during masturbation. Or, a person with anxiety may find that a particular type of toy helps them relax and de-stress.

Myths About Using Sex Toys

Unfortunately, there are still many myths and misconceptions about using sex toys that contribute to the ongoing stigma. Here are a few common myths and the truth behind them:

  • Myth: Using sex toys means you're not satisfied with your partner.
  • Truth: Incorporating sex toys into your sex life can actually enhance intimacy and pleasure for both partners.
  • Myth: Sex toys are only for people who are single or have trouble finding partners.
  • Truth: Anyone can use sex toys, regardless of their relationship status or sexual preferences.
  • Myth: People who use sex toys are "weird" or "perverted."
  • Truth: There is nothing inherently weird or perverted about using sex toys. Everyone has different desires and needs when it comes to sexuality.

The Stigma Around Men Using Sex Toys

While there is certainly stigma around all types of sex toys, men in particular may face unique challenges when it comes to using them. Society often reinforces harmful stereotypes about masculinity and what it means to be a "real man," which can make some men feel ashamed or emasculated for using sex toys.

However, it's important to remember that there is nothing inherently un-masculine about using sex toys. In fact, many men use toys like prostate massagers or sleeves to enhance their sexual experiences and explore new sensations.

Breaking Down the Stigma

So how can we work to break down the stigma surrounding sex toys? As a sex educator, I believe in starting by having open and honest conversations about sexuality and pleasure. By providing accurate information and dispelling myths, we can help people feel more comfortable exploring their own desires and incorporating sex toys into their self-care routine.

It's also important to celebrate diversity and acknowledge that everyone's sexuality is unique. By acknowledging the many different ways people experience pleasure and intimacy, we can help reduce shame and stigma around sex toys and other sexual practices.

Talking to Your Partner About Sex Toys

If you're interested in incorporating sex toys into your sex life but feel nervous about bringing it up with your partner, here are a few tips:

  • Be open and honest about what you're interested in trying.
  • Frame the conversation in terms of exploration and pleasure, rather than inadequacy or dissatisfaction.
  • Listen to your partner's concerns and be willing to compromise or take things slow if necessary.
  • Remember that communication is key for a healthy and fulfilling sex life.

As society continues to shift towards more open and inclusive attitudes towards sexuality, I believe that the stigma surrounding sex toys will continue to decrease. By having open and honest conversations about pleasure and exploring our own desires, we can help break down barriers and create a more sex-positive world.